Matt 5:14

Have you ever wondered why God would love a person like you?
Or is the fact that you are such a horrible person, the root to your doubt that God truly deeply loves you?

My guess is that this thought is more familiar to you than you realize. To think about it, it really is no surprise that one would think this way. After all, it's the devil's favourite tool since who knows when. First he tries to get you to screw up, or actually more often than not, he doesn't really need to lift a finger to get us to mess things up - we are humans - need i say more? Next he makes you hate yourself for screwing up, then he screams in your head that you have screwed up so bad; promising you that you have never messed up so bad before. And then you shrink in some convenient corner, convinced that you have lost at least some ground in your relationship with God.

Oh no... Am i less loved?

Now, this is where the love of god stands tall in the midst of our wretchedness.

Has it occurred to you that it does not take much to love a seemingly perfect person? No wonder there is no perfect love in this world...Once again i refer to the weary and overused saying: "We are but Humans". But i believe that God does not believe in this saying. I think that when God sent his son Jesus to this world to take my sins, He was not seeing the human that i am. Now don't get me wrong, God hates sin. But He loves me. Before i received Him into my heart, He saw me in Sin (Sin here being a noun - a state of things) But He loved me. From before, till now, and to forever, it will be so... He loves me (Always in the Present tense...the NOW) ...

Jesus came to rescue us from the chains of sin. That we may be prisoners no more to sin but to righteousness. (Again a state of things) So now, even though we still do wrong from time to time - i.e Sin (Verb) - we are still prisonerers to righteousness, because all we who believe in the redemptive work of Jesus, have been translated from darkness into light - ONCE AND FOR ALL.

What i am getting to is this; how is it that before Jesus came, He expected nothing of our behaviour that while we were bankrupt He lavished His love and affection on us. But today we Christians think that we have to earn our dues to retain that very love? I can confidently say that no matter how badly i mess things up, He does not change. He loves me. So great is His love, He died for me. So classical and so ageless His love, circumstances does not change that unfathomable magnitude of love He has for me.

Don't be fooled my friends. Sometimes our actions, our thoughts, are truly truly DISGUSTING. I know. But learn to look at ourselves as our Father does. Because when He sees us today, He sees the blood. The Blood that calls us CLEAN & RIGHTEOUS. And the splendor of it all is this, as we continue to behold His love for us, we simply change from the inside out. We are transformed from glory to glory; and the best part is that we don't even try to change. It just happens. Why? Because our hearts have been touched by that Love so Great.

Who would have thought... He would love a wretched soul like me?...

Today as i was bumming around at home, i was just filled with a cloud of random thoughts about life...

1. We are all unconsciously advancing towards death. - It occured to me that every man has a somewhat similar fight in life. All of us, in this existence, are fighting to stay alive. As kids, we are schooled, because we need knowledge to get ahead in life. And when we are done with education, we get out into the workforce, to finally bring in the rain. And soon we marry and have kids. As we advance in years, that pay cheque prayerfully gets bigger to a point we go no further, we retire. And our kids are big, and we are OLD. And we await Death.

In the most literal and physical sense, this is all life is about in this society we live in. I wonder if anyone stops to ask if there is anything more to life than this...i wonder...

2. Is there a purpose to our existence? - i figured the answer to this question, most definitely depended on whether or not we believe in the existence of a God. If there is no god, then there is no purpose, because life would be nothing more than a struggle to stay alive. though of course, this journey does have its highs and joys involving people with different backgrounds and tastes and careers; their idiosyncracies making this world a myriad of characters and personalities. But that doesn't change the fact that life is but a bid to remain in being and in this existence, find reasons to smile and be happy. Sadly life is still but a time bomb, ticking away towards the inevitable Death. And when we are gone, all that remain are the memories of our prints in this world, and when those who once remembered us are gone too; there is nothing left of us in this world for there is no one left to remember us.

But if there is a god, then life would not be a struggle to BE. For i already am. And my journey here will not be a fight to stay alive, for i know that though my body dies, i have only gone to a better place, and i continue to BE, now here in paradise. Hence life's journey will be a time of discovery, fellowship and communion with my God. And life's "challenges", a platform for Him to BE MY GOD, for Him to lavishly shower His provisions upon me, as i continue to witness and receive His unmerited favour in my life with each passing day. And my purpose will be to live for Him. My testimony as a letter written for its reader, or a song sung for a pair of listening ears - I carry a message of truth. And my presence will leave an everlasting mark, even unto eternalty.

...Thoughts, i thank god for thoughts...

Its time to sleep.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

a return to love - marianne williamson

It's amazing how Grace teaches one to want to do the right thing more. Grace does in fact develop discipline, but i reckon it does come more often than not, with a little pain.

Its like when i first learnt the guitar. I dreamt of the day where i would be able to play nice and catchy melodies and tunes just like my dad. I'd seen him do it since i was yet a kid, and it sure didn't look too hard. When the time came for me to have my go at it, it certainly was a lot harder than it looked. I spent a whole day goin at the guitar, playing one simple Chord (it's simple on hindsight). It sounded really bad and inconsistent - way off-tuned. But that wasn't even really the worst part. The hot-red blisters and hurting fingers for the next few days were simple out of this world. Now that was the WORST part!

It was at that time that i really had to decide if all this pain was worth it. I had only begun to play ONE LOUSY CHORD! How much pain would i have to endure for me to even vaguely make out a chorus?? But i'm glad i decided to go on. To persevere. So that now, i am able to play not just 1 song, but as many songs as i knew the chords for, and guess what? MY FINGERS DON'T HURT AT ALL!

I reckon...that's so much like our christian walk. There are so many things we want to do right for God - So many temptations that are thrown at us... and making the right choices always seem to hurt the most! But somehow, when we persevere and keep at it, the pain always fades till it's no more. In fact, it even becomes a joy to do!

Let's keep strumming our guitars and continue to make joyful noises unto the Lord. And He promises that He will be there to take the sting off your fingers, because we do our deeds not with our own strength but with His strength - with His hand in ours!

For all those times You stood by me
For all the truth that You made me see
For all the joy You brought to my life
For all the wrong that You made right
For every dream You made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful Jesus

You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
Through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cos You believed

I'm everything I am
Because You love me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, You gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day You gave me

Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by You

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cos You believed

I'm everything I am
Because You love me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining Your love into my life

You've been my inspiration
Through the lies You were the truth
My world is a better place because of You

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cos You believed

I'm everything I am
Because You love me

I'm everything I am
Because You love me

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
‘Oh excuse me please’, was my reply.
He said, ‘Please excuse me too, I wasn’t watching for you’.
We were very polite this stranger and I,
We went our way and said goodbye.

But at home, a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned I nearly knocked him down,
‘Move out of the way!’, I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken,
I didn’t realise how harshly I had spoken.

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While I lay awake in bed,
God’s still-small voice came to me and said,
‘While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
But the family you love, you seem to abuse.'

'Go and look in the kitchen floor,
You will find some flowers there by the door.'

'Those are the flowers he brought for you
He picked them himself - pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly, not to spoil the surprise
You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes..'

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By this time I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed,
‘Wake up little one, wake up', I said.
'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'

He smiled, ‘I found them out by the tree,
I picked them because they are pretty like you.
I knew you liked them, especially the blue.'

I said, ‘Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted,
I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.'

He said, ‘Oh mum, that’s okay,
I still love you anyway.'

Granted that it is not a crime,
I’m not going to resist writing this post in rhymes.
Because I’m never one to dampen creativity,
God’s wisdom always blooms boundless spontaneity.

So many things to say,
Where shall I start?
From the very minor of issues,
Or right from the major part?

Alright,
Having considered all possible merits,
I shall pen this post whilst being led by the Spirit.

I reckon this will be (rather) long,
So please bear with me,
As I endeavour to avoid any form,
Of deceitfulness or duplicity.

This is firstly an open letter,
Addressed to those whose hearts are broken.
I’ll also interpose my short discourse,
With thoughts that I’ve not yet spoken.

To all ye who are nursing broken hearts,
Borne of relationships that have fallen apart:

Bask not in sorrow anymore,
I implore you, whatever for?
If you earnestly seek recovery,
Read about God’s promises for you in Matthew 5:4.

His Word declares,
That the greatest love,
Is of God & He draws from limitless reserves (Romans 8:39).

If he or she was truly meant for you,
Expect God to bless the relationship through & through.

But if in your heart of hearts,
A settled peace never did transpire (Philippians 4:7),
It’s God’s supernatural way,
Of leading you away,
From the woes that’ll cause you to suffer.

He loves you too much,
To give you up (Deuteronomy 31:8),
To a relationship destined for failure,
Right from the start.

Because you have chosen to honour God,
Your decision is with Him in one accord (1 Corinthians 8:3).

Therefore rejoice,
Because God has promised His people,
That they will be restored with double,
For all their pains & troubles (Isaiah 61:7).